7:20 a.m.: Not a good start to the day today. The little guy I took in last night didn’t make it through the night. I had checked in on him again just before I went to bed last night and he seemed fine, so I’m not sure what happened. He had some scratch marks on his stomach and one on his back, so maybe he developed an infection. Or maybe he just wasn’t quite strong enough to make it.

If I seem a little cold in reporting this sad news, unfortunately it’s a defense mechanism you need to develop if you’re going to get involved in wildlife rehabilitation. I think the time I’ve spent at the center itself has helped in that way. So many of the tiny birds die, and other animals do too of course, that the only thing you can do is focus on the ones that you can help. I remind myself that the ones that don’t t make it wouldn’t have survived in the wild either and we at least gave them their best shot, and hopefully a little comfort before they go. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not enough. It’s definitely harder when it happens with one you’ve brought into your own home but, again, I have to devote my energies to the five that are still thriving and do my best to keep them that way. (Don’t think that means I haven’t shed a few tears this morning, though.)

If you’re wondering why I keep referring to each animal as “a female” or “one of the guys,” rather than giving them names to identify them, this is one of the reasons why—I’m sure it would be that much more difficult if I had to say, “Charlie passed away last night.” But the more important reason is that it’s very important that we always remember that our goal is to successfully transition the animals back into the wild. So we do everything possible to ensure that they don’t bond with us by making sure we don’t treat them as pets in any way. So no names, no cuddling (in fact, no handling at all except when necessary, e.g. for feeding), absolutely NO talking to them, and no “Awww, isn’t he cute?” comments.

1:00 p.m.: Remember that poor little guy that was being sucked on? Well, earlier this morning it looked like the problem was finally solved—his penis was back down to a normal size and there was no backup of urine that I could see. So I was happy about that. But… during this last feeding I discovered that his penis now has a dark red tip, like dried blood. That doesn’t look good. So I called the vet tech that we have on call and she said it doesn’t seem like he needs antibiotics at this point, since he’s eating and seems to have plenty of energy. Along with the warm compresses and Neosporin, the next plan of attack was to put a little Tabasco sauce (!), NOT on the wound, but near it. That way, whoever’s sucking on him will take one taste and hopefully give up on that. So that’s something else I’ll be keeping track of today. I’ll also try to see if I can figure out who’s doing the damage, although it’s difficult when there’s so many of them and they’re usually burrowed under the t-shirts.

In the good news department, the biggest guy’s other eye opened this morning, sometime between the first and second feeding. So now he’s really full of beans (the new sensory experience is a little overwhelming for them). And they’re all eating well today, so that’s another good sign.

9:45 p.m.: I think I’ve figured out who the squirrel molester is. After feeding my biggest guy (the one with both eyes open), I was wiping his face to clean off any formula. The cotton ball had reddish stains on it. I freaked a little bit, thinking he was bleeding from his mouth. But I opened it and looked around and couldn’t see any kind of wound. Then I realized what the stains were—Tabasco sauce! And there’s only one place he could have come into contact with that… So tomorrow, about a half hour before feeding, I’ll separate him from the group, ’cause that’s when they’re more likely to start sucking.

Well, even though I’m feeling more comfortable with my duties, I’m definitely feeling a little wiped right now. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with this morning’s sad event.

But one thing I want to mention before I sign off tonight is that I’ve been a volunteer for a variety of organizations over the years, but I have never found one where all the people are as helpful and supportive as at the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley. At the center they let you do as much as you feel comfortable with, but they’re always willing to assist you with a procedure no matter how often you’ve tried to do it before. And the people involved with the squirrel home care program are just so sweet and kind. When I called the coordinator this morning to tell her about the deceased squirrel, the absolute first thing she asked was how I was doing. And the next thing was to assure me that it was in no way due to anything I had done or not done. She was so sympathetic. And then I sent an e-mail to another volunteer, one of the more experienced ones who has been really helping me all week, and she called me right away to make sure I was okay.

I’m so happy I found this organization. I feel like I’m making a real difference and it’s such a bonus to work with so many terrific people. I found the center through VolunteerMatch and I must say they really made a great match this time!